Saturday, November 25, 2006

GOOD RIDDANCE

"So she has finally stopped calling you".
"Yes", i said.
"Why did you let her go when you knew she loved you so much?" he was angry now.
"But i did not love her" i said, nonchalantly, as always.
"You are the biggest fool in this world, you will never get love for you have always disrespected it", he was now frustrated.
"What could i offer her", i said.
He went out with no mood to fight the fight, he knew i will not defend myself.

She left after i warned her of the pain i will cause to her someday. She got the message right and had no faith left in her unconditional love after i delivered the blow to her. But she fought hard and long, for 2 years, that's how long she fought to keep the candle of love burning in her heart. Calling me every week in the begining and then daily as months passed by, sharing the little things that made her life and asking me, the little things of mine.

"What could i offer her", i knew it from the first day when i waved her goodbye that she will not be able to resist me. She came drawn by something only she saw and i had let her come. It all started without the sense of future but there is always a future and someday we have to face it. It was a date for her what i took as a get together of old time friends. It were the moments of relief for her when i was yawning on the other end of the call staying on the call to just to prove that i am cool. She would always complain that i do not call her but would still go on calling till her balance gets over.

I could only offer her what i had not accepted from someone else. Memories flashed into my mind of the sleepless nights i had spent crying and praying and begging for love. Love can not be charity, it can only be love and nothing else. Pain is always better than the frustration of realisation that someone probably does not love us. I chose to hurt her than to let her keep the false hopes. She is a strong girl, she will sail through this better than me. She will indeed find love one fine day.

That leaves me, alone, in the room. But how can i expect to find someone, i am the one who disrespects love everytime. I did chuckle when the phone did not ring for 3 days in a row.